Tucci and Tucci-a

On Wednesday, my life changed forever.

On Wednesday, I made my very first recipe from The Tucci Cookbook. 

I made the Spaghetti with Fresh Tomatoes.

If you are getting suffering from a massive explosion of rage because I’ve waited this long to share this important information with you, then you are reacting in the precisely correct manner.  I have no reasonable excuse. I have been unusually busy at my day job and I have no internet in my apartment, but what kind of silly excuse for an excuse is that? I deserve to be shamed. 

Before you shame me, please let me tell you about my experiences cooking the recipe. 

Firstly, the recipe is brilliant. It’s easy. It’s simple. You might think, “Oh, Spaghetti with Fresh Tomatoes. How is that a recipe? How is that anything other than pasta and cut tomatoes on top?”

Let me just tell you, it is a masterpiece of a recipe, because the Tucci family has added some easy steps to making your tomatoes sing in a way tomatoes never have sung before because tomatoes are fruits (not vegetables, proles) and fruit can’t sing, but tomatoes can sing if you leave them in a bowl of olive oil for fifteen minutes with a dash of balsamic vinegar, chopped basil and garlic and then add salt to bring out the juices.

Essentially, this is the best “pasta with tomato” dish I’ve ever had and I made it with the guidance of Stanley Tucci.

It is a perfect recipe and I look forward to making it again for friends, family, and the brood of insipid, spoiled children I plan on having in the distant future.

Here are some problems I ran into though:

The recipe calls for 8 large tomatoes. How “large” are “large tomatoes”? My bodega sells tomatoes the size of a peach and they seem large, but Union Market sells tomatoes the size of a small melon. Which is what he means? 

One time, a homeless man told me I had “nice tomatoes”. I didn’t know what he was talking about until I realized he was referring to my breasts. The innocence I had at 19…ah…sigh…harp music…

Anyway, I used four bodega tomatoes and one slightly bigger one. 

Then, I used too much olive oil. I will fix that in the future.

Then, I did a poor job with the pasta. I will fix that, too.

But really the only nitpick I have with the recipe is WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY “LARGE” TOMATOES?

That’s all.

It was delicious.

The Tooch suggested pairing it with a light red wine, but I just paired it with a cheap red wine. I was still happy.